Quotes Temple Bill Cosby Quotes

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Bill Cosby Quote

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Bill Cosby Quote

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think -- in a deeper voice.

Bill Cosby Quote

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

Bill Cosby Quote

When you become senile, you won't know it.

Bill Cosby Quote

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate.

Bill Cosby Quote

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

Bill Cosby Quote

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Bill Cosby Quote

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

Bill Cosby Quote

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

Bill Cosby Quote

The three ingredients of a successful union between two . . . humor, commitment & undying love.

Bill Cosby Quote

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

Bill Cosby Quote

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

Bill Cosby Quote

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

Bill Cosby Quote

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

Bill Cosby Quote

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

Bill Cosby Quote

Sigmund Freud once said, "What do women want?" The only thing I have learned in fifty-two years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that.

Bill Cosby Quote

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Bill Cosby Quote

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

Bill Cosby Quote

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

Bill Cosby Quote

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.

Bill Cosby Quote

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

Bill Cosby Quote

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Bill Cosby Quote

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Bill Cosby Quote

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Bill Cosby Quote

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Bill Cosby Quote

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

Bill Cosby Quote

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

Bill Cosby Quote

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Bill Cosby Quote

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Bill Cosby Quote

It isn't a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that's beautiful.

Bill Cosby Quote

Is the glass half full, or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring, or drinking.

Bill Cosby Quote

In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck -- and, of course, courage.

Bill Cosby Quote

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

Bill Cosby Quote

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

Bill Cosby Quote

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Bill Cosby Quote

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

Bill Cosby Quote

I want to die before my wife, and the reason is this: If it is true that when you die, your soul goes up to judgment, I don't want my wife up there ahead of me to tell them things.

Bill Cosby Quote

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Bill Cosby Quote

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Bill Cosby Quote

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

Bill Cosby Quote

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.

Bill Cosby Quote

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Bill Cosby Quote

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Bill Cosby Quote

Gray hair is God's graffiti.

Bill Cosby Quote

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Bill Cosby Quote

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Bill Cosby Quote

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Bill Cosby Quote

Did you ever see the customers in health-food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

Bill Cosby Quote

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Bill Cosby Quote

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Bill Cosby Quote

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."

Bill Cosby Quote

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

Bill Cosby Quote

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Bill Cosby Quote

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice.

Bill Cosby Quote

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.

Bill Cosby Quote

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Bill Cosby Quote

A thought comes . . . it's a true feeling, a funny feeling. And I get to develop it. [Writing] is more fun than performing, because I get to color with words.

Bill Cosby Quote

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

Bill Cosby Quote