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Bill Maher Quotes

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Bill Maher

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Bill Maher

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'

Bill Maher
god

Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

Bill Maher
god

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Bill Maher
god

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Bill Maher

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

Bill Maher

If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Bill Maher

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Bill Maher

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

Bill Maher

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

Bill Maher

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.

Bill Maher

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Bill Maher
men

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Bill Maher
men

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

Bill Maher

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Bill Maher

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think religion stops people from thinking. I think it justified crazies.

Bill Maher

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

Bill Maher

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

Bill Maher

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.

Bill Maher

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.

Bill Maher

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

Bill Maher

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

Bill Maher

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