Mark Twain Quotes

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. Everybody drinks water.

There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.

Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.

What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.