Author of "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer"
American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher, and lecturer.
Writer | American
Born: November 30, 1835 in Florida, Missouri, U.S.
Died: April 21, 1910 in Redding, Connecticut, U.S.
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.
Mark Twain
Prosperity is the best protector of principle.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
Mark Twain
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain
Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.
Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I never let schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain
Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
All generalizations are false, including this one.
Mark Twain
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
Mark Twain
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Mark Twain
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
Mark Twain
Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
Mark Twain
What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
Mark Twain
There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Mark Twain
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow there is no humor in Heaven.
Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.
Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain
What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation.
Mark Twain
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
Mark Twain
My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
Mark Twain
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Mark Twain
We have the best government that money can buy.
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
Mark Twain
The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
Mark Twain
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.
Mark Twain
It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure.
Mark Twain
To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain
A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more that one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
Mark Twain
Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
When in doubt tell the truth.
Mark Twain
Why shouldn't truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense.
Mark Twain
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Thunder is good, thunder is impressive but it is lightning that does the work.
Mark Twain
Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Mark Twain
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.
Mark Twain