QuotesTemple
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight
Phyllis Diller was an American actress and stand-up comedian, best known for her eccentric stage persona, self-deprecating humor, wild hair and clothes, and exaggerated, cackling laugh.
Actress | American
Born: 1917-07-17 in Lima, Ohio, United States
Died: August 20, 2012 in Los Angeles, California, United States
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller
My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual.
Phyllis Diller
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.
Phyllis Diller
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
Phyllis Diller
There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
Phyllis Diller
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
Phyllis Diller
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Phyllis Diller
The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
Phyllis Diller
Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
Phyllis Diller
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller
The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller
Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Phyllis Diller
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller